It is natural for a child to have mixed feelings for his stepparents. It is always hard for a child to accept someone else as s parent except their biological parents. Children can be angry or feel betrayed that their parents have walked out of the relationship. It is a complex situation, and as a stepparent, you must allow the child to take his time to adjust.
Unless the child has confidence in you, he will not be comfortable. However, you can take a little proactive step to make the child comfortable. Here are seven parenting tips for dealing with stepchildren.
Contents
Be Considerate About the Child’s Feelings
It is not easy for a child to accept a parent’s divorce and adjust to a new set of parents. A child may feel betrayed and angry about his biological parent’s decision. In addition, the child may be confused about how to react to the situation and accept a new parent.
Give your child the levy to express his feelings. He must be able to express himself freely, so you know his thought process. Only when you know his mind will you be able to justify your decisions.
Allow the Child Time with Biological Parent
Some parents do not allow time with their biological parents. They think from their point of view rather than the child, and the child may have great memories of his birth parents. If he wants to spend time with his true parents, allow him.
A child will not be comfortable with someone who is a cause of divorce between his mom and dad. If the child is not feeling secure with you, give him the freedom to choose where he wants to stay. Space will provide him with confidence and would reaffirm a new bond.
Build a Family Bond
The best way to build a family bond is by having a set routine. Ask about the child’s choices of events and how he would like to spend time with the family.
Be it mealtime or a family picnic, and the child should feel the essence of togetherness as a family.
Sometimes, spending time with family can be painful for the child. In these situations, do not force the child to be part of events. Just make sure he is comfortable and give adequate care and comfort.
Never Force Discipline
Most stepparents are eager to show their authority, and they force their laid down rules on stepchildren. It is a big mistake and will create a rift between you and your stepchild. Let the biological parent step rule and discipline the child. You should act as an anchor and support the child’s activities.
Always Communicate
Do not expect the child to open communication ways. You have to have meaningful and positive communication with the child. Always ask him about his feelings, class performance, and anything he requires. If the child is not communicating, use his biological parent to share. Observe, listen and support the child as much as you can.
Plan Activities with Your Child
Participating in cohesive activities is the best way to build a bond with your stepchild. Try participating together in a football match, music classes, or a trekking event. Joint activities that are shoulder-to-shoulder are the best way to share the experience.
Joint activities open channels for discussion and allow knowing each other. Consider those activities the child was fond of with his biological parents. You can find out about the child’s interests or discuss them before planning the activities.
Don’t Expect Too Much Too Soon
No matter how eager you are to break the ice, you are not the biological parent. It becomes more critical if you have children. Unless the child trusts you, he will not accept you as a parent. The best way to tackle this is to take things slow. Give your stepchild time to adjust, and things will be okay with time.
Conclusion
As a stepparent, remember your stepchild is dealing with a crisis. He is having a feeling of neglect and anger due to the separation of his biological parents. As a stepparent, you must reach out and open communication channels with the child. Don’t force the child to accept you or adhere to your rules. Most importantly, be a friend, love him, and care for his needs.
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